"A Primate, An Artist and An Act of Self Experience."

When pondering how to define myself, these are the only categories/ statements I am willing to associate myself with, categories that express my selfness without limiting, categories that allow me all the freedom needed to create while providing enough support structure to retain sanity- like a trellis upon which a grape wine can grow without collapsing under it's own weight (for that is one of the great reason we construct all sorts of elaborate stories about our selves).

Here is but a few reasons for my choices:

"A Primate" for we all are more than our thinking minds that we so love to identify with- to see the primate-ness  within is, to me, an act of acknowledgement of the primal; the raw prima materia we are shaped from by our environment.
The beauty and pain, hardship, sorrow, love, joy.. these all stop being empty concepts to grasp and become viscerally alive- undeniably real aspects of us-ness, aspects one can engage with (dance them away or paint them onto the canvas, the primaeval does not ask but engages and flows)
So to call myself a primate rather than a human is to acknowledge the nature within and without, the connection to the unbroken  evolutionary chain while at the same time humbling my mind for no longer it is the "men vs nature" but rather "nature and nothing but nature"
(Have you ever considered the two aspects of nature- The Nature Naturing vs The Natured Nature?)


"An Artist" is to me a rather flexible category albeit one that necessitates self understanding and care for the experience of the viewer.
The way I see it, an artist is one part force of creation, one part fool*, part madman, part thinker, alchemist of human experience, part freedom, part chains- to be an artist is to embody and express the inner being, to be an artist is to commit to the creative act and take up on the responsibility of doing so.
What responsibility you ask?
Art is something to be present with, a piece of experience, modifier of environment, catalyst of the inner conversation- in short, art is that which one can commune with.
How could then, one justify to create unconscious of its potentiality?

"The Act of Self Experience " is where words go fuzzy and yet it is that which is at the core of my identity- beyond categories and labels, beyond freedom of choice; the act of self experience is undeniably who I am and yet it is the greatest mystery.
The experience and experiencing,
that which experiences the "I",
that which I experience,
that which I observe to experience,
that which I experience observing..
The entire hall of mirrors is the utmost inspiration for all that I create, inspiration for all that I am and ever will be.

..so I guess, now you know me.



*fool: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hoBacQm8vs